Misunderstood: A nice girl’s perspective on life

by Pauline Yang


10 Things You Never Knew About the “Nice Girl”

In Friendship:

  1. She’s the quiet one. Even among her group of friends the Nice Girl can come off as aloof at times. Some see it as an unwillingness to share her thoughts, her secrets. Others wonder if she secretly dislikes them. But that is rarely the case. Sometimes she is simply listening, going beyond the spoken message and understanding what’s not being said. Other times she keeps quiet not to please you but to keep things simple.
  2. She’s private. Don’t take it personally when she doesn’t let you know what she’s doing, where she’s going, or what she’s been up to. It’s not that you don’t matter, she’s just used to doing her own thing when she wants without having to report to anyone or ask for permission.
  3. She’s innocent but not ignorant. The Nice Girl is observant. She notices the tensions, the awkwardness, the whispers. But she also notices the smiles, the kind words, the silent sweet gestures. She may not be the most confrontational person you know, but she is always keeping an eye out for you.
  4. She’s stubborn. She may be a people pleaser, but she will always stand strong with her values and beliefs. That’s what makes her a loyal friend. She says “I got this” often, partly because she is determined to challenge and take care of herself and partly because she doesn’t want to bother you. However she truly appreciates your offers to help, whether she accepts them or not. Once you get to know her, you’ll discover that she’s strong and tough on the outside but soft and kind on the inside.
  5. She’s not always “nice.” No one is. It bothers the Nice Girl when people assume she says or does certain things because she’s just “too nice.” While she does have an extra soft spot in her heart, there is always a reason behind every action made and every word uttered. Sometimes it is out of courtesy and appropriateness, other times out of protection. But it is never simply because “she’s too nice.”

In Love:

  1. She has overprotective friends. Her friends will most likely be wary of you at first. But that is only because they know her inside and out. They’re too familiar with her “nice girl” ways. They will want to make sure you treat her right and if she doesn’t speak up, don’t be surprised if her friends do. Consider this the first round of examinations before you get to meet her parents.
  2. She’s shy. Expect her to be reserved, especially about the things that matter to her the most. The Nice Girl is guarded and independent is her comfort zone. She will let you fully discover the open version of herself when she realizes that with you, there is no fear of judgment, just love and support.
  3. She’s careful with her heart. The Nice Girl will be slow in opening up to you and letting you in. She probably overanalyzes everything but she’s waiting to see if you’re patient, if you’re worth it. She will need time to think her feelings through (and consult her girlfriends, of course) but she’s hoping you’ll be the yin to her yang.
  4. She’s new to this. Win her by your actions, not your words. She will be scared of getting hurt, unfamiliar with being loved, and weary of loving more. She doesn’t know what to expect and it’s exciting and frightening at the same time. But show her how you understand her and that you will catch her if she decides to take this leap of faith. Win her trust, little by little. Cherish it and she will be yours.
  5. She’s worth the wait. One morning she will wake up and it will all be clear to her. She will have fallen in love with you faster than she’ll want to admit. She will be grateful to have you in her life and this love will have changed both you and her forever.

At the end of the day, whether in friendship or in love, she will always be your shoulders to lean on.



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