There should be a class at Chapman for men called “What Women Want.” I will volunteer to teach it. I will show films that would make any woman “ooh” and “aah,” films that men would call each other gay for watching, films that if men had taken the chance to watch, would show them exactly what will get us women to fall head over heels for them.
Here’s a hint, men: If we are excited to see a romance film, that means we probably love the romantic leading male. And if we love the romantic leading male, that probably means that we love whatever he is doing, saying, wearing, etc. And if we love all of those things about him, that means that we would flip out if any man were to actually do any of those same things for us in real life.
Women are crazy. I get that, I’m one of them. But look at the leading men they are giving us in movies to compare you guys to. It may not be fair to you all, but you are given an extraordinary advantage in that these films are showing you step by step how to win us over. Why are you not all taking advantage of this?
If you have a girlfriend, a love interest, a wife, a hook-up, a whatever, you need to take time to study some films. I just saw the movie “Twilight,” and in leaving the theater, decided that if any man were to put in one-eighth of the amount of effort that Edward Cullen, the leading guy, puts into his relationship in the film, my face would probably melt off.
My girlfriends in college get excited when guys remember their birthdays and get them gifts. That’s great, they can be excited once a year. But where is the kind of passion and love and chivalry and day-to-day romance that you see in the movies? It doesn’t exist. If it did, I would find it and marry it and have babies with it, and so would every other woman on the planet.
Do you see what I’m saying? If you act like the leads in those girly romance films that we love so much, you will get women, many, many women. That is a promise. I will pay you $50 if you do not get a woman to like you, adore you, and obsess over your perfection when you use the romantic leading male’s tactics. That is how serious I am about this.